Got Gum?

Top 8 redneck jokes for the week:

You might be a redneck if...

1. You're in route, taking dinner to your pastor's house, when you see a dead 'possum in the road it reminds you that you left the food at home in the fridge.
2. You play Carrom 'til you need a 'fangernail' transplant.
3. You want your wife to go into labor so you can watch the NCAA championship game on the hospital's 72 in. plasma.
4. 20 children and 4 adults are in the hospital, after visiting hours, sitting around waiting on a baby, in a cafeteria that is closed, drinking Sprite out of Styrofoam bowls.
5. When the head nurse attempts to kick you out of the hospital because you have too many children, you reply, "It's a good thang we didn't brang 'em all!"
6. When the doctor refers to your newborn "Little Princess" as "BigFoot". [Please don't get me wrong. LP is BEAUTIFUL. She's just got some Texas-sized feet.]
7. You have mysterious wet spots on the front of your favorite SEC team sweatshirt.
8. Someone(?) in your party picks the a.b.c. gum off the bottom of a cafeteria table and chews it. Hmm...

JL