You might be a redneck if...
- You're in route, taking dinner to your pastor's house, when you see a dead 'possum in the road it reminds you that you left the food at home in the fridge.
- You play Carrom 'til you need a 'fangernail' transplant.
- You want your wife to go into labor so you can watch the NCAA championship game on the hospital's 72 in. plasma.
- 20 children and 4 adults are in the hospital, after visiting hours, sitting around waiting on a baby, in a cafeteria that is closed, drinking Sprite out of Styrofoam bowls.
- When the head nurse attempts to kick you out of the hospital because you have too many children, you reply, "It's a good thang we didn't brang 'em all!"
- When the doctor refers to your newborn "Little Princess" as "BigFoot". [Please don't get me wrong. LP is BEAUTIFUL. She's just got some Texas-sized feet.]
- You have mysterious wet spots on the front of your favorite SEC team sweatshirt.
- Someone(?) in your party picks the a.b.c. gum off the bottom of a cafeteria table and chews it. Hmm...